[00:00:02] Speaker A: Choice and Control is a podcast celebrating meaningful inclusion of people with disability in our communities, brought to you by Carers Queensland, your NDIS local area Coordination partner in the community.
Each episode provides a conversation space for people with disability, their families and carers to share their stories with you. We also hear from members of the wider community, local businesses and community leaders who share information, ideas and possibilities to give you more opportunity and more choice and control in your life.
As a Rainbow supporter and ally, Gerrarhs Queensland has been actively involved in a range of events to celebrate Pride Month. Our teams proudly attended Brisbane Pride by marching in the rally and hosting an information stall at Pride Fair Day in Musgrave Park. We also co hosted a panel discussion at the first Logan Loud and Proud Festival held at the Kingston Butter Factory. In this episode we hear from Carers Queensland staff and a range of NDIS participants who share their stories and what inclusion means to them. First up, we hear from the main organiser of the Carers Queensland Brisbane Pride March and stall, Evie from Lutwich.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: Hi, my name is Evie Ryder. I use she, her pronouns. And my role at Ceras Queensland is lgbtiqa, ilc, lac. So that's basically helping people in community, lgbti, queer community, connect with the ndis.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: Evie, you've been the main organiser for today. What were you hoping to achieve with Carers Queensland's presence here at Pride Fair?
[00:01:52] Speaker B: I was really hoping to show the LGBTIQ community that Keras Queensland is here for you as well. And we are a service that is willing to connect and make the effort to be as inclusive and accessible and affirming as possible to our community, to really show that there are pathways to support around the NDIS and for caring carer support as well.
I was hoping that today is like a visible connection piece that almost like I almost describe it as a bridge. It really shows the community that you are committed and have a stake in caring and valuing community when you have a presence here.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: And why is that important?
[00:02:38] Speaker B: It's super important. As an LGBTI person myself, a transgender woman myself, I've experienced lots of times going to services and they're misgendering me or dead naming me. And I've, you know, I've experienced that being afraid to actually sometimes use medical services or community supports because I worry that how do I know that it's safe? How do they know that they respect my community or will affirm me? It's actually put me off getting support sometimes. And so I think anything that a service can do to show that it is a safe, affirming space and it wants to make that effort to connect. It helps break those barriers down just a little bit more and make those pathways a little bit more accessible.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: And how have you gone about making sure that Carers Queensland is that organization?
[00:03:28] Speaker B: That's a good question. In terms of making sure Carers Queensland is an organization that is a safe, inclusive organization for LGBTIQ community. It's been doing many things from one, having a presence of Pride today, having a presence in the March, two throughout the year we constantly do training with the staff, constantly invite people from the community to host panels with us and share their lived experiences. So eventually all stuff have some avenues to connect with community and connect with the stories of community and also giving feedback from community about processes that maybe still need fixing or need working on. Like, if people are still getting like dead named or misgendered, how can we work to do the work better? I find that Carers Queensland has been very open to learning and growing and hearing that feedback because the LGBT QIA.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Plus community is a vulnerable community within a vulnerable community. Right. So there's added layers there, isn't there?
[00:04:30] Speaker B: Yeah. What I found is, you know, I'm hearing stories from my community that are saying they're, they're too afraid to tell even their, like their care support or their family sometimes or people like they're safe, they're in a workplace, they're too afraid to talk about their disability and be let alone talk about their sexuality, let alone, you know, if there's gender stuff or if from a first nation or multicultural community. It's those extra barriers that had really huge hurdles in terms of feeling safe and overcoming stigma and discrimination to get that support.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: So if a person with a disability wants to get in touch with Carers Queensland, what are they likely to expect and how can they go about that?
[00:05:19] Speaker B: That's a great question. So one of the best avenues to connect with Kerris Queensland is you can just drop into an office, you can give us a call on the general number, but we also have a rainbow responder email and that's. I believe it's rainbow. The email is rainbowarersqueensland.com au so when.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: A person reaches out to carers, what are they likely to expect?
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Okay, so when a person reaches out to carers and if they do use a rainbow email, they're going to get put in contact with someone else that is also from the LGBTI community and they're also an LAC or someone similar to the role that or the service or the support you need at Carers Queensland, and often if it's around LAC and connection to the nds, you'll get connected to that person. And it's just a way to, like, you don't have to sort of explain yourself or your sexuality, your gender again, because that person on the other line gets it because they're from that community. So you kind of. You get a bit of a warm welcome, smooth the entry into, into the Cares Queensland, into NTS world, because it can be very confusing and scary and intimidating and so that, that little, little pathway, sometimes it does make the world of difference for access and just finally.
[00:06:41] Speaker A: Evie, there's been a lot of people at the store today. What are some of the questions and queries that you've been answering?
[00:06:47] Speaker B: I think some of the biggest things I've. Actually, the biggest stuff I get today is, oh, I've heard of Kerris Queensland. How do I find out more?
Or I know someone might be on the ndis, or I know someone who's living with a person with a disability.
I've always wanted to know who to touch base with first to get support and I find I'm getting a lot of those kind of questions today.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: And that must just reinforce the importance of why our presence here is so critical.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's really these. It's days like this.
Pride is a really massive day, like a moment of significance for our community. It's the one day in a year where people can actually feel like they're you.
They are actually welcome and safe and affirmed. And for me, it's always felt like a place that's like, I didn't have to hide or try to fit in, I just fit it in and I could just feel safe and celebrated. And that's such a rare experience and that in itself, to have a presence at a day like this, when people feel the most safest in themselves and often have family or support people with them. You couldn't have asked for a more opportune and perfect time to connect with community.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: It's been great talking to you, Evie. Happy Pride.
[00:08:01] Speaker B: Happy pride to you. And I hope everyone out there always, if you do want to connect, please reach out. Charis Queensland is definitely stepping up and doing this work with the community.
[00:08:15] Speaker C: LAC Connect. It's a new way to stay in touch with your local area coordinator at Carers Queensland with everything you need right here on your device. It's a handy app to keep track of your LAC appointments, browse workshops and events, check out information and support and get the Latest news stories and podcasts. It's available ON Android and iOS, so whatever device you have, you can stay in touch. Head to our website to sign
[email protected] au and look for LAC Connect.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: Our next guest is 59 year old Susan from Ipswich, who participated in Pride by showcasing her goods at the Carers Queensland stall. Previously, sue had participated in our Be youe Own Boss program to grow her own micro business. I started by asking sue why she decided to join Brisbane Pride Fair Day.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: When I got the email, because I did the Be your Own Boss program, I think it was 2022, I think, and I saw it was for Pride, I jumped on it because it's my community.
So I took the opportunity to be here and be around family here at Pride.
[00:09:29] Speaker A: Today you said that you were on the stall and you were in your community. Why are days like this important for the LGBTQIA community with disability?
[00:09:41] Speaker D: Because not all disabilities are seen.
And I know mental health is a big issue in our community, so it's always good to be out and about. Like, I've kind of been hiding under a rock for quite a while. So to be back at Brisbane Pride is awesome. To be able to see friends and say hi and of course, sell some of my wares. As an added bonus, you said you're.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: In the Be youe Own Boss program. What are you selling?
[00:10:08] Speaker D: I make crocheted things. So I started off with the wind spinners, which were very successful today. And then I started making some other novelty things with, like, water balloons and f bombs, chill pills.
I think that's all I've made so far.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: How have you found your experience with Carers Queensland and feeling like you've been included?
[00:10:35] Speaker D: Amazing. Yeah, it's been really good.
And then when I saw the email come from Evie, I was, like, even more excited because I knew Evie, so. I know. So that was an added bonus to have another familiar face. But, yeah, it's been a good journey.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Now that you're out and about in the community, what are some of your goals that you're hoping to achieve?
[00:10:59] Speaker D: The priority right now is housing, like the thousands of others that are desperately trying to find housing, but it's just. It's just a daily journey. Mental health, you just never know what's gonna come.
When I first realized I didn't have an address, that was really hard.
But, you know, it's. It's like doing stuff like this helps me remember that there is more out there. It's.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: Yeah, it was such a positive experience today. Wasn't it?
[00:11:29] Speaker D: Yeah, it is. It is a good experience. Yeah.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: And in terms of the future, what advice would you have to other people who might be wanting to access the ndis, or, you know, may have been through your journey? What advice would you have?
[00:11:44] Speaker D: Deep breaths, lots and lots of deep breaths.
And just keep searching. You might not like your first psychologist, so you go search another one. It's the same with support workers.
The right one will come along, it's just finding them.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: Thanks for talking to me today and Happy Pride.
[00:12:04] Speaker D: Thank you for having me. And Happy Pride.
[00:12:08] Speaker C: Do you have a passion or talents to share? A micro business can be a great way for people with disability to earn income, build your confidence, be more independent and be an active part of your community. Carers Queensland is supporting the next generation of entrepreneurs with our Be your Own Boss project. It's a free opportunity to find out what it means to start a micro business, whether it's a good fit for you, Connect with business mentors, learn from existing micro business owners and showcase your goods and services in the Be youe Own Boss marketplace.
Find out more, get in touch or look for events and opportunities coming up near you. Visit our
[email protected] au or call our enquiries line on 1300, 999, 636.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Here at Kerris Queensland, we're fortunate to have several dedicated staff members who are here to support people with disability in the LGBTQIA community.
Next up, I chat with Samantha, a team leader from our Lutwich office, and started by asking her why she decided to represent Carers Queensland in the Pride March and Fair Day.
[00:13:21] Speaker E: Well, I am a very proud bisexual woman and I've been working for Carers Queensland for six years and I'm very proud to work for an organisation that puts inclusion at the forefront of everything that we do. I participate in these days every year with Carers Queensland and this year I'll be working on the storm, which will also give me a chance to connect a bit more with the community.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: Can you describe the atmosphere you experienced in the March this morning?
[00:13:46] Speaker E: The atmosphere in the March is amazing, always amazing. Every year, everybody really gets into it. There's really good vibe when the dykes on bikes start at the beginning. That really revs everybody up. It's probably my favorite part of the whole march every year. That really gets it all going. People are, you know, cheering and happy and singing and dancing the whole way along the march. So it's really, really great experience.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: How has Carers Queensland worked to make sure that we have good inclusion practices.
[00:14:15] Speaker E: Yeah. There's been a lot of work done over the last few years at Carers Queensland in that space, making sure that we do have specific policies and procedures around inclusion. We also target our recruiting to making sure that people who do look at our job ads are aware that we are an inclusive organisation and that we're a safe space for people to come and work and hope that we're able to attract more people from the community.
We also hold regular events, internal and externally involved with different inclusion communities and.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: Just try to really promote that for the LGBTQIA community. What are some of the specific things that we need to be aware of when working with participants from those communities?
[00:15:02] Speaker E: Yeah, probably the number one thing would be just being confident that you're sure of their preferred name and pronoun when you first begin to work with them. There's a few ways that you can do that. Of course, just asking straight up is one way that you could do it, but also just asking some targeted questions around a little bit about themselves and just, you know, saying something like, just want to confirm your pronoun, if that's all right. Just to make sure that when you're moving forward with any interaction you have with them, you are aware of their preferred name and pronoun on days like today.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Sam, why is it important for people with disability and Carers Queensland and to be represented here today?
[00:15:41] Speaker E: We're an organisation that very much is focused around an inclusion, including people who have a disability who are also part of the LGBTIQ space. And we want to make sure that we're a visible organisation that people see at these events and understand what the services are that we provide, so then they can reach out to us, connect with us on the day, or can get details from us to connect with us after of their day if there's ever something that they're going to need that Carers Queensland can provide.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: If someone from the community wanted to reach out to Carers Queensland, can you tell us how they'd go about that?
[00:16:15] Speaker E: Yeah, for sure. Probably first and foremost would be the carers Queensland website, carersqueensland.com au on there. It lists all of our office offices around Queensland. We are the largest NDIS partner in Australia. So there's a few offices around Queensland. They listen listed on our website and you can look that up to see which one will be the closest to you and make contact via that way, email, phone or you are able to drop in anytime business hours to any one of our Carers Queensland Offices and.
[00:16:44] Speaker A: Just finally today, Sam, you've spent some time on the stall. What are the sort of questions, things that are coming up today?
[00:16:50] Speaker E: Always the, usually the biggest question we get is about what the NDIS can actually provide for people with a disability. So we're able to answer those questions and then get a little bit more of information from them to then target our responses to how we can specifically help them and their needs.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: And what can the NDIS do for those people?
[00:17:10] Speaker E: Yeah, so people with a disability who have a permanent disability in Australia can access the NDIS for funding. Carers Queensland is the partner with the ndis so we support people in the community to understand the scheme and then come along to us and we'll help you to see if you're able to gain access, provide support for people with disabilities in the areas of self care, getting out into the community, equipment, home modifications if necessary, that kind of, kind of thing.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: It's been great talking to you today, Sam. Happy Pride.
[00:17:39] Speaker E: Happy Pride. Thank you Tracy.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: 39 year old Laz from Lutwich lives with disability and participated in Brisbane Pride. I started by asking Laz why they decided to attend the event this year.
[00:17:52] Speaker F: Pride is important to me because in recognition that the first Pride was a riot and it was a very unpleasant situation, it's good to look back on how far the community and society has come. But it is also important to remain vigilant for the rights that we have and also to try and expand and to maintain solidarity with the folks who are struggling with different problems and obstacles out there. I think it's important to remember a history and look forward to the future.
You know, in a community setting it's all community based, it's from people for people.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: How has the NDIS and Carers Queensland helped you in your life?
[00:19:00] Speaker F: Oh, it's been, it's been a revolution.
I had very little idea of what the NDIS was and what it does tell people. So my first point of contact for getting into all that stuff was Carers Queensland.
Several people recommended Carers Queensland to me actually.
And so I got in contact with my local area coordinator and she was very helpful in explaining what the NDIS was and how it could help me in my day to day life. And so that just made everything easy and we went from there. I was able to organize a plan.
My support worker is fantastic. I got engaged with Rainbow Inclusions and first two care plan managers and so that was, that was really good. Made it easier for me to make my way around.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: It's important to Carers Queensland that we do provide an accessible service for the LGBTQIA community.
Do you feel that in your interactions with us?
[00:20:20] Speaker F: Yeah, personally, I do.
It was very easy to set up the meeting. It was in a nice, quiet space, and I felt like the coordinator had all the time in the world for me to answer questions and just make it a very. Well, it was very understandable so that it just went very smoothly.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: And what about the NDIS itself? You said they're a support worker. Have you been more engaged in the community? How have you been supported in those ways?
[00:21:01] Speaker F: Well, it's very hard to get me out of the house these days.
Pretty much need a crowbar.
But I.
I get help with my shopping and I don't. I don't drive, and public transport is difficult at the best of times. And so beforehand I put off going shopping and I, you know, I wouldn't have food and things would just snowball. But I've got a regular.
A regular schedule that I stick to, and I go out and I can do my shopping. I can do anything that I need to.
I think it feels like it's opened up more possibilities and opportunities for me to get outside and become more active in the community, not just getting, like, my groceries and things. And so that's definitely been a game changer. My doctor's very happy that I'm getting out more.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: I imagine that that would be good for your mental health and overall wellbeing.
[00:22:19] Speaker F: Yeah, it's really easy for me to get stuck in my own little bubble, but more I can get out more I can get outside of that. And it helps keep my perspective open to what's really going on. And, you know, it helps me take. Draw in just the little things, you know, like you're sitting on a bench in the park and, oh, there's a bunch of butterflies flying around. And so, yeah, just really gets me out of my own head.
[00:22:59] Speaker A: And I suppose taking you and supporting you in events like Pride as well.
[00:23:07] Speaker F: Yeah, that's absolutely right.
[00:23:11] Speaker G: It's.
[00:23:14] Speaker F: It's like a key to the door. Like, it opens up all those things and opportunities that I didn't think I'd be able to do. Like, I was originally asking myself, like, oh, what are all the things I need help with? And, you know, it can be a bit overwhelming, but I thought to myself, well, if this was another scenario and I had more ability to go out and do things, like, what kinds of things would I be doing? And so that helped guide the supports and things that I can use to really benefit Myself, now that I've got those opportunities and support.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: Carers Queensland is your NDIS partner in the community and we're here to support you throughout your NDIS journey. Our website has a wealth of information on the ndis, such as how to apply for the scheme or make an appointment with one of our local area coordinators. Read good news stories of people with disability, their families and carers. Listen to our podcast Choice and Control to hear groundbreaking interviews. Watch videos of our work with first nations people and the LGBTQIA community, and follow us on Facebook. Check out the Carers Queensland
[email protected] and keep in touch with us. 25 year old Oliver from Chermside was also thrilled to join in the activities of Brisbane Pride Fair. I started by asking Oliver why days like this are important for the LGBTQIA community.
[00:24:58] Speaker G: So when I had my interview with Shailey, it was probably about a month ago, she mentioned to me that Kerris Queensland was going to be in the march and having like a picnic outside the market that day. And I was already planning on going to the market, but when I heard that the Kara Queensland was going to be in the march, I decided to come along to that as well and join the picnic and see some new faces.
[00:25:33] Speaker A: Wonderful. You were in the march. Can you describe the atmosphere of going in that march?
[00:25:40] Speaker G: Yeah, it was amazing. I didn't actually end up finding the Caries Queensland crew to march with. I showed up a little late, but I did just walk with the general group and yeah, it was a really fun atmosphere. I had some great chats to the people, people around me while we were walking and kind of just enjoyed the day and the walk through the city.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Why are days like this important for the LGBTQIA community?
[00:26:12] Speaker G: Ah, well, they're really important to me specifically at least, because it's a really easy way for me to get out of the house and go get involved with like, the community.
Community days are really important to me for that reason, so I can, you know, go out and connect with people without having to like, go, oh, well, where am I going to find them?
[00:26:39] Speaker A: And you mentioned there that you were excited that Carers Queensland was going to be there. Can you tell us about how you've your relationship with Carers Queensland and what you've experienced then?
[00:26:51] Speaker G: Yeah, so Carers Queensland helped me with my NDIS application, which is still in the process of, you know, approval or not. But yeah, they took that entire process off my hands, which was really amazing because I actually procrastinated even applying For a whole year. Just because I'd heard from some of my friends who have tried applying how rough the process was to do by themselves, it really, like, made it hard for me to feel like I could go through with the application. So when I found out that Keris Queensland could help me with that, I pretty much instantly went and went, please help me.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: And did you find your experience was accessible and you felt really included and validated?
[00:27:41] Speaker G: Yeah, yeah, it was very, very easy and straightforward for me.
Shailey made the process so painless and was very, very friendly and open and made sure to talk me through the process and, like, give me space for any worries that I had as well.
It was a very, very accessible thing for me.
[00:28:10] Speaker A: And speaking of accessibility and Pride itself, how did you go there? Did you find the event was accessible?
[00:28:18] Speaker G: Yeah, yeah, for me, personally, super accessible. I don't have many physical disabilities myself, but I did see a lot of people in wheelchairs, and I do every year. Pride has always had a pretty. Pretty large disabled population, so it's really nice seeing that disability is such a focus for Pride every year.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: When it comes to your disability, Oliver, what's important to you when it comes to events like this and just going into the community in general?
[00:28:59] Speaker G: Yeah, well, the safe and welcoming space is probably the thing that I look for the most, because as soon as I start to feel out of place, it makes it so much harder for me to connect with people and feel like I can do anything, really. So having such a welcoming space where everyone's so happy to talk to you and make jokes and enjoy the day, nobody is focused on having a bad time, so it's always a lot easier for me to go out and enjoy myself and make some new friends.
[00:29:39] Speaker A: In terms of you're a member of the LGBTQIA community and you live with disability, how does that work together?
[00:29:48] Speaker G: Yeah, well, it's pretty normal for what I see from my peers, at least. Like most, if not all of my LGBT friends have some sort of disability.
It seems to be a pretty strong overlap.
So, yeah, with my disability, specifically autism and adhd, it can make the human connection part a little tricky to navigate, which can be stressful.
But when I find other people who struggle with the same things, it makes it a lot easier because we both exist on a baseline of understanding, so we kind of know how to communicate and, you know, get along usually, which can be really helpful.
But, yeah, sometimes. Also, community days can get very overwhelming for people like us. I was there with a friend who did get overwhelmed towards the end of the day when we left, meanwhile, I was fine because I was just having a good time.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I've definitely heard that in terms of the overwhelm and just the importance of having some chill out spaces.
[00:31:14] Speaker G: Yeah, absolutely. We ended up going just back outside, which is great for the fact that the event always has those wristbands so you can kind of come and leave as you like.
So yeah, we ended up just going outside to the park for a little bit of a breather to get away from all of the noise and the hustle and bustle of the markets, all.
[00:31:38] Speaker A: The rainbows and the dog show and the music. It was such a colorful, pretty exciting event, don't you think?
[00:31:46] Speaker G: It always is. It always is. I always love seeing all of the costumes that everyone comes up with every year. Seeing all of the people coming out in their rainbows and their wings and their feather boas. It always gives me so much joy every year.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: And just finally Oliver.
And that's the experience I had at the fair as well. And I've heard many people say that it's just a place where they feel safe, that they can be themselves. Would you agree with that?
[00:32:13] Speaker G: Yeah, absolutely. I don't think I've ever felt uncomfortable to be me at pride. I think that I've always felt just absolutely welcomed and understood and accepted as I am.
[00:32:30] Speaker A: It's so important. I think we'd like to see a little bit more of that in the general community, don't you think?
[00:32:35] Speaker G: Absolutely. If the general community had a bit more of that vibe as a constant, I would feel a lot more safe leaving my house.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: Absolutely. More rainbows in the community.
[00:32:47] Speaker G: Yes. Please show me your rainbows, people, please.
[00:32:53] Speaker A: Thanks for the chat today, Oliver. It's really great to hear your perspective and all the best with the music and everything moving forward.
[00:33:02] Speaker G: Thank you. That's so okay. My course.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: This year the fabulous folks at Assorted Grains, a not for profit arts organization in Logan, debuted the Logan Loud and Proud Festival. And Kerrahs Queensland was proud to be involved.
Hosted at the Kingston Butter Factory, Carers Queensland and PFLAG held a conversation panel with a diverse panel of young people, carers and parents who shared their unique coming out journeys with an audience of supportive locals.
18 year old Alice Ram, Ipswich, who is Neurodiverse, decided to join the panel and share their coming out story. I started by asking Alice what coming out means to them.
[00:33:51] Speaker H: For me it's kind of.
It's a bit of a mixed bag. Part of it is the most literal look of it which is, you know, coming out of the closet and being able to be your true self. Part of it is also being able to kind of figure yourself out and come out of yourself, if that makes sense. So kind of coming out of your cocoon in a way, it's kind of being able to figure out who you really are. And it can take a long time. Sometimes even after you come out, you're not done coming out. It's kind of what I find to be beautiful about that in your coming.
[00:34:29] Speaker A: Out journey and when you think about connection and support.
Who are the people that supported you through your coming out journey?
[00:34:38] Speaker H: There's a lot of them, so I'll go through few. There's my mum. She's been supportive of me from day one, as has my nan. And my Uncle Brett is very supportive as well. A lot of my carers, there's a lot of people.
I also have a friend named Luke who's also been very supportive with this. He himself is part of the community as well as his mum, and it's kind of been a relief. I remember with Nan, specifically when I first came out to her, I was terrified of what could happen and she just was unfazed and it made me so happy.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: Can you tell me what some of those fears might have been?
[00:35:22] Speaker H: It was kind of a fear of losing her in the sense of if she stopped having any contact with me or kind of saw me as lesser for it, or just outright didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
It scared me a lot because she's the person who cut my umbilical cord. She was my first word. She's been part of my life as a massive role from the very start.
[00:35:50] Speaker A: Were you a little surprised at how accepting and welcoming she was?
[00:35:55] Speaker H: Very. I was extremely worried because of the kind of. It's a bit of a stereotype, but I also understand it has a bit of a basis in reality, which is that a lot of the older generation don't understand a lot of the community. Especially when it's something like, for me, because I was coming out as gender fluid, I wasn't even sure if Nan would know what that meant. So I tried to be as clear and concise about it as possible. But then I was like, what if she finds that to be, like, too insane or ridiculous and kind of sees it as me just lying or something?
[00:36:30] Speaker A: Is it difficult because there are different attitudes with different generations? How do you find the different generations react to a coming out story?
[00:36:41] Speaker H: It's. It's fascinating to me. It kind of depends on who it is. But a lot of the time I would say it's kind of bit of a mixed bag with, I would say my generation, Gen Z and onwards, we kind of look at it and go, yeah, I feel that, like, that's very compelling. And we understand with say, millennials, it's more of like a, huh, I wouldn't have thought of that. And like with the generations before them, it's more.
My expectation at least would be that they kind of see it as, look at this person, like either they're really brave or they're wallowing in self pity, kind of depending on the person.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: Did it take courage to come out?
[00:37:24] Speaker H: A lot of it. Especially with coming out to Nan and Uncle Brett. Because of. With them, I hadn't been able to fully say for certain. Mum was a different case because she's always been very out in the open about being supportive and has always gone through with me about everything. Whereas with Nan and Uncle Brett it was a little less able to be communicated because I didn't see them as often. And there was a lot of different elements to it.
[00:37:52] Speaker A: How important is it for people to have that, you know, that need, that want to want to learn, to want to understand?
[00:38:00] Speaker H: I would say it's a very important thing, at least depending on the person. Like, it's one of those things where with Uncle Brett, part of why he doesn't understand is because this is stuff that, you know, when he was growing up wasn't as common and like. Whereas for someone like me, it's kind of the world I've grown up in is the one we're in now. So, like, when I was little, I always thought that I was normal and that it was something that everyone was. That everyone was just the same. And like, I hadn't thought about being gender fluid at the time, but I remember when I was little, I thought I was bisexual and my assumption had always been that everyone was, because I was. And it just made sense that, you know, everyone is into girls and boys.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: And when did you realize that that wasn't the case?
[00:38:47] Speaker H: Um, I don't know. I would say probably around maybe eight or nine, something like that. I would say it would be roughly towards that time because I remember at one point I was getting bullied for holding the hand of my friend at the time at one of my primary schools and they were making fun of us, saying that we were gay and all these other things. And I didn't understand it and I was like, I don't get what their point is. And I think I brought it up with Mum and she kind of went through about it, and it kind of opened my eyes to it a bit more.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: Are there other layers of complexity?
Living with a disability, being in the queer community?
[00:39:34] Speaker H: To an extent, I would say, because one of the things that I've noticed is that I have certain things that likely come from my disabilities that then impact on kind of how I perceive myself. Something that Mum and I have discussed, and we're not sure as to how likely it is to be the case, but we are confident that it's possible. Is the possibility that I might have imposter syndrome. Because a lot of the time I will be thinking about, like, my sexuality or my gender fluidity and kind of have that thought of, what if I've been lying to myself this whole time?
And then there's also the fact that, like, me being gender fluid is something that's kind of.
I found interesting when mom and I were talking about it, because we found that there is kind of a bit of overlap between people with autism and similar conditions and. Or I guess to say neurodiversities would be the better way of putting it. And not being gender conforming, it's kind of not necessarily a correlational causation, but just an interesting overlap that we found. And I find it interesting because it does then kind of make me wonder if my masking, which is something that I have from my autism, because my autism kind of manifests in more of a female style of autism than the typical male autistic persons might.
It's something that then kind of. They go hand in hand.
And it's interesting, like, even my autistic traits, I'm a mix of male and female autism and have been pretty much from day one.
[00:41:12] Speaker A: And just for our listeners, can you explain what gender fluidity means?
[00:41:16] Speaker H: Absolutely. So I will just give a quick caveat that this is just my experience. It will vary from person to person on gender fluid as a concept because it kind of manifests differently. But for me, it basically means that if I wake up or I'm more stressed or anything like that, my gender will kind of just go with it. So some mornings I'll be like, I'm feeling female. Today I'm gonna dress female. Some days I'll be like, I'm feeling male, like masculine, and I'm gonna dress more masculine. And then other days I'm like, man, I don't think I have my gender today. I just want to be whatever. And then there are other days where, like, because I'm a. I consider myself a unique case. I class myself as a genderfluid femboy. So some of my masculine days I am also presenting feminine while being masc. It's then that some days I will feel like, no, I'm femme boy today I'm gonna wear something feminine. But I'm more boy today than usual.
[00:42:20] Speaker A: Are you still learning about your gender?
[00:42:23] Speaker H: Definitely, yeah. I'm still not fully sure of my sexuality, period. And my gender fluidity is something that I still constantly overanalyze. And I'm like, is it something that can kind of change randomly? Does it have a pattern, things like that? One of the things we've noticed is that I tend to be more likely to be female when I am stressed. And we reckon a big part of that is because of the fact that a lot of the people in my life who I see as like strong figures are women like my mum, my nan, people like them.
[00:42:57] Speaker A: What advice would you have to other young people who might be going through what you. You've gone through?
[00:43:05] Speaker H: My advice would be to try your best not to kind of overanalyze every element of yourself and kind of try to go with the flow the best can and see if you can find more people like you. There are others that will be like you out there somewhere and if you find them, you will very likely be able to have a strong bond with them that can help you kind of have support no matter what happens.
[00:43:35] Speaker A: It's been wonderful talking to you today. Thank you, alice.
[00:43:37] Speaker H: Thank you.
[00:43:39] Speaker A: 60 year old Sandra from Morningside decided to speak on the panel and represent the advocacy support group pflag. I started by asking Sandra what the coming out journey means for her and her family.
[00:43:53] Speaker I: It's something that our child did seven years ago and we do over and over and over and over again as a family. And everywhere Lou goes, it's a new day to meet new people and to come out again.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: So you're a parent?
[00:44:15] Speaker I: I'm a parent.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: Can you tell me about your child and as much as you're willing to share?
[00:44:21] Speaker I: Of course, yeah. Lou's was 17 when they came out as trans and they, their friends knew first. Obviously. Lou goes by they them, their friends knew well in advance of parents. We are the last scary people to tell, but it was fine. We were very accepting and we've just been there every step of the way.
[00:44:48] Speaker A: You're a member of pflag? Correct. Why are you a member of pflag? What are you passionate about?
[00:44:54] Speaker I: PFLAG is parents and friends of LGBTI people young and old, and they saved us as parents. Sorry.
We thought we were alone, and they made us welcome. So we give back now, my husband and I.
[00:45:17] Speaker A: Was it a difficult journey to begin with?
[00:45:20] Speaker I: Very much you think, what have I done wrong? What am I? What didn't I see? What did I miss?
And in the end, it's nothing to do with us.
And we just wanted to support Lou, and we were very thankful that Lou didn't have major mental health issues. That was our biggest concern, and that's why we volunteer for pflag. There are so many parents who struggle seeing their child, locking themselves in their room and getting all their information off the Internet. It's a very scary place. So we were lucky. We had a very open, accepting family situation, but we still struggled as parents. So I can't imagine other parents, what they really go through.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: How many years ago Was that now?
[00:46:24] Speaker I: 7. Then. Look at me now, still emotional.
[00:46:28] Speaker A: Where does that emotion come from?
[00:46:34] Speaker I: Gratitude, A bit of background pain for all the things that we felt we did poorly as parents.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: I suppose early years prior to.
[00:46:49] Speaker I: Yeah, coming before Lou came out, it was a total shock to us. We had no idea.
There weren't very many signs. So we know Lou struggled. So just seeing your child struggle, no.
[00:47:05] Speaker A: Parent wants to see their child struggle, do they?
[00:47:07] Speaker H: No.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: How have you, as Luke parent supported them.
[00:47:17] Speaker I: Pronouns is a big one. Using the correct pronouns, accepting a name.
[00:47:23] Speaker J: Change.
[00:47:26] Speaker I: Not judging the way they walked out the door, however they appeared and accepting their friends into our home and not, you know, not delving into their personal lives. There's, you know, their preferences.
[00:47:51] Speaker A: What advice would you have to other parents who may have been in a similar situation?
[00:47:56] Speaker I: Talk to pflag.
Definitely. It's international. Talk to parents. At P Flag, we have so many people call and say, oh, my God, I thought I was alone. I thought I had to do this all by myself and figure it all out. They come and they're just. You see them melt in relief.
[00:48:17] Speaker A: The LGBTQIA community is very. It's vast, it's varied, and there's been a lot of changes in that space.
And certain people are perhaps more acceptable than others. Can you tell us what your observations have been regarding that?
[00:48:37] Speaker I: Yeah, I'd say through pflag. In the last seven years since joining, I've noticed when we joined, all of the parents had homosexual children or young people. And. And in the seven years we've been active and volunteering, we've noticed that pretty much all of the new parents coming in have a child or young person who's trans, transgender, non, binary, not the L and the G, more the V and acronym following. So it's an interesting time and I think it's great. It's an evolution that shows people are accepting of homosexuality and now we're working towards acceptance of transness.
[00:49:41] Speaker A: Yes, it's a really interesting observation that you make there. That and young people today especially would be seeing those changes, don't you think?
[00:49:51] Speaker I: Definitely. Definitely.
I think my son's friends, when my Lou's friends, when they were in high school, were totally okay with Lou's transness. Didn't matter. You know, Lou had friends from for years and Lou came out as trans and the friends didn't change. None of his friends changed.
So he was fully accepted. I think young people are way more accepting than adults.
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[00:50:50] Speaker A: And our final interview in this special Pride episode is with 21 year old Carter from Logan, a neurodiverse young person who's a strong advocate for improving the mental health of fellow LGBTQIA youth. Here, Carter shares why they joined the loud and proud panel to share their story.
[00:51:11] Speaker J: Yeah, so I'm really hoping to share, like, obviously my own experiences in a way that other people can relate while still keeping the, like, individualistic, like, nature of coming out because it is such a personal thing. But there are certain aspects of everybody's story that other people can actually relate to. And they might think it's just them, but being able to share it and have people feel not alone and not isolated I think is like, the main, main reason I'm so excited to be a part of this panel.
[00:51:50] Speaker A: In your coming out journey, what supports did you have that really helped?
[00:51:56] Speaker J: At first it was kind of me, myself and I, for a little bit, a lot of my obviously, like, family didn't fully understand. They were supportive but confused, as most people kind of are at first.
But in high school, it was largely my close friends who very largely supported me throughout it all. But when I made it to Headspace eventually for like, just any kind of mental health support, they had, like, so much information readily available that I was like, wow, it's not just me in my Head. Other people have these questions and these similar issues, and it was like a space to actually learn and try out different labels and different names, even if you weren't comfortable. So, like, being in an environment like that is where I think I definitely found some of my closest friends that I have now because they were going through the same things and we all kind of could lean on each other at the same time.
[00:53:05] Speaker A: Your generation is probably at the foreground of being accepting, etc. But I can still imagine there are.
[00:53:14] Speaker J: Challenges within your generation, definitely because social media is such a big thing right now. Unfortunately, there are negative sides of it still where one person who is perhaps not as open to things can spread their opinion and it can get turned and they might not mean it to be in such a harsh and negative way, but other people will exacerbate it. And it gets worse. And then I know, like, when I first came out in high school, it was like, a lot of people would, you know, be posting things on Instagram and, you know, you wouldn't mean to see it, but it gets shared and you'd see it and it turn into a big thing.
But on the flip side, you can go online and find safe spaces and find answers to questions that you have that people in your real life might not have.
Like, I had no idea anything really about the concept of, like, gender fluidity and everything in high school because no one around me knew anything about that.
But you look it up and you find queer safe online groups and you're, like, asking questions to, like, older queer people who might have these answers, and you're not judged for asking the question, which I think is good. But this generation, I think we're finally learning that people are who they are. And even if they're not open to our opinions and who we are as people, it doesn't really matter because we're going to be this kind of person anyway.
So I think that's the good thing, I guess, is people are more. They're more open to things outside of the norm now.
[00:55:09] Speaker A: And we talk a lot about social media, but it sounds like there's a real positive role that it plays as well. Can you tell me about that positive role of social media?
[00:55:17] Speaker J: Absolutely. I mean, like, you can kind of put up a. Not a front on social media, but you can present your way, present yourself in a way that you actually want to be seen by the world. Like, before I came fully out to, like, my close friends and family about, like, my gender and how I identify everything, I was already kind of out on social media, because there's that kind of a wall for protection, I guess, where you have the power to have people not see that if you don't want certain people to see it.
It's.
Even though it is obviously a very judgmental space because people can post what they want, it is at the same time a judgment free zone because anyone can be who they really want, to be honest, which I think is also definitely a positive. Despite some of the negatives that might.
[00:56:12] Speaker A: Happen in your life nowadays as an adult, what sort of community involvement are you, are you doing in the LGBTQIA space?
[00:56:23] Speaker J: Of course. So with the headspace that I go to for like mental health support and community support and everything, everything.
I'm part of one of the queer groups there. We meet every Wednesday. It's great. You meet like minded people who are your age, maybe a bit older, maybe still figuring things out. Maybe they know exactly what's happening.
And it was a great safe space for me when I first started out. And now I can help out the new people that come to that group who have questions and they're younger, they're like just graduated high school, trying to find themselves. And, you know, I'm happy that I get to be one of the people that greets them after they've done that and be like, welcome to the real world. You know, you can be who you need to be now. Same thing with like the youth reference group or something that I'm part of at the same headspace, helping to be the bridge between the young people who might be struggling and the workers and the, you know, the things that are being offered to them, the support and the help, making sure that they're actually getting what they need. And it's not just the, say, corporate side of things, being like, this is what the young people need. And it might be something they've never actually thought about before, being the voice to say this is actually what they need, need, and we need to be giving them support for these things. Not what you thought? Because I was there and still there. This is what we actually need for support.
[00:57:59] Speaker A: What do young people need?
[00:58:02] Speaker J: Young people need, and it's getting better now, especially with more access to the Internet. They just need a space to feel safe, to ask questions. Because I think there is definitely a.
Sometimes people think you need to know exactly who you are from the get go. And it is definitely a growing and learning experience that you might not feel the exact same way initially that you do. When you're finally comfortable as yourself, you might go through certain labels, like, they just need to be made aware that it's okay to grow as a person. Like when you're in high school, there's big emphasis on okay, we need to know where you need, what you want to do in your life, you know, if you want to go to university, what you want to do for work. But you don't need to know that straight away. You have your whole life ahead of you to be able to try out different things and find what is actually comfortable for you. So young people need that space to learn, grow and adapt. And we are finally getting there. We're getting closer and closer all the time.
But yeah, that's the main thing I think, that young people need. I know that's what I needed. That's what I finally got when I worked for it.
And now I get to help young people hopefully find that space for themselves.
[00:59:27] Speaker A: And that was our final interview in this special Pride episode of Choice and Control. And if you'd like to get in touch with Carers Queensland and our dedicated team of rainbow responders, write to rainbow carersqld.com Carers Queensland, a place where you belong thanks for joining us at Choice and Control, a Carers Queensland podcast. If you've enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment take a moment to leave a rating and review and share it with your community. For more information about the National Disability Insurance Scheme or Carers Queensland, contact us online at www.carersqld.com or call us on 1300999636 or head to Facebook and look for Carers Queensland NDIS.
